Current location:	The Flat, Southampton, UK
Current mood:	accomplished
Current music:	OSTs

Apocalyptica Fanfic: What Could Go Wrong? Part 5

“Eicca! Snap out of it!” Antero’s sharp tone cut some of the way through the fug surrounding Eicca’s mind, but still he moaned softly.

“The… violence- the blood!”

“Enough melodrama!” Was Antero’s opinion and shuffling in the ropes he managed to just find a part of Eicca with one hand and pinched it, hard. Eicca gave a satisfying yelp, and then stared at Antero- part sheepish, part relieved, part hurt.

“Was that really necessary?”

From Antero’s other side, Perttu was staring at the howling Aedd with huge eyes.

“Werewolves?” the youngest band member breathed, mesmerised by the sight and sound… before suddenly giving his own sharp yip as Antero administered another reality-checking via a short, sharp kick to an exposed ankle.

“Pull it together!” Antero hissed

 

Paavo was staring at Aedd, who abruptly stopped howling and, coughing slightly, stood grinning a little self-consciously before them.

“Sorry. I can get a little carried away, sometimes,” he explained.

“Next thing you’ll be saying that vampires exist,” Paavo offered.

Aedd stared, then laughed and waved a hand. “Don’t be silly! That’s old wives’ tales!”!

“Buh’ werewolves are real, o’ course,” Mikko glared out from under the hair plastered irregularly across a sweaty forehead.

 

Aedd surveyed the band. “Oh, aggression, I like that! It helps to make things... tastier!” he smacked his lips.

“What the-?”

Aedd flashed teeth far too long and pointy at Paavo’s disgusted expression. “S’what the hanging was all about- helps to sweeten up the skinnier ones!”

Perttu and Mikko exchanged a look, and then glared at Aedd.

 

Of all people, it was Eicca who laughed. “Oh, give it up! I know- just like you do- that you rarely eat people.”

“Ah, but we do.” Aedd held up an admonishing finger. “And as you now know, my dear Eicca, sometimes it is a matter of necessity. If humans wander too close to our territory- if we feel threatened- sometimes if there’s simply a shortage of meat… true, we don’t need to live on human flesh- in fact, we’d prefer not to, but sometimes it is... necessary. Nothing personal, you understand- just politics.” His eyes glinted in the light from the open fires a way off.

The band shuffled- really, what could they say or do? Caught by a load of lycanthropic lunatics, bound to trees, there was little to do.

“Never thought it’d end this way,” muttered Paavo. The others said nothing, but silently agreed, everyone recalling family and friends.

“Let’s… uh... let’s have some dignity, guys.” Eicca murmured, and he lifted his head, staring Aedd full in the face, proud and glacial as the winter snows of his far away homeland. One by one, the others joined him. Only a tear rolling down Perttu’s cheek gave away quite how much fear and pain they were experiencing.

 

Aedd watched them, and then clapped his hands together, batting his eyelashes. “Oh, how noble! The defiance of humanity against the dark desires of the nasty, beastly werey-wolves!” and he pouted at them. Antero’s face crinkled into disgust. Aedd giggled.

“I’m sorry, but that was priceless!”

Suddenly he was standing right in front of Eicca, eyes boring into the taller man’s, his voice intense. “There is a way… you could be useful, and…escape this fate.”

Eicca’s face creased with a frown.

“They say that music soothes the savage beast, and we- we have been without music for some time.” Eicca stared at Aedd. He was speaking in bursts, almost diffidently, like a man supplicating, rather than a wolf eyeing up its dinner. Even Aedd’s eyes had dropped to his feet, his hands fiddling with the ropes around Eicca. “You- I saw music in you, and I know how proud you are of the music in the others- how it comes together to make something very special.” Aedd’s eyes flashed up to meet Eicca’s puzzled ones.

“Play- make music, and sing not to be supper!”

 

“You’re- offering us a deal?”

“You know, from those memories, how ghastly human tastes. Frankly, it’d a last resort, but a show of strength was needed this night.”

“You need the back-up,” Paavo realised. “You needed some poor saps to- to prove you-” he lost his words, struggling to put shape to an idea.

“-are a strong enough leader!” the Driver finished for him. Paavo nodded.

“Yeah- what he said!”

Aedd’s eyes narrowed. “D’you mind? Alpha males talking, here.” The rudely turned away from the second tree.

“Oooh, handbag!” Antero muttered. Perttu sniggered.

Aedd fumed a second, swallowed his annoyance, and continued with Eicca. “But something better- a concert! Music! Prove your worth to live!” this last spat at the rest of the band, who pulled contrite faces, then smirked. Aedd stared at them, then back at Eicca.

“How do you cope with- oh, like that, huh?”

“Mmm?” Eicca didn’t trust himself to speak, his own laughter bubbling incongruously upward and threatening to spill out over clamped lips.

 

Aedd stepped back, flinging both hands in the air in exasperation. “Aren’t you taking any of this seriously? I am saying you will be eaten unless you play a damn good concert- what?!”

The laughter, threatening to spill, broke the restraining efforts of the band, and they all burst out in peels of it.

“I- I’m s-sorry!” Eicca gasped “It’s- i-it’s j-just…” he could not finish.

“Play or be eaten!” Perttu had recovered enough to pull a lowering, glowering face and to affect a heavy, stentorian tone. His ‘impression’ only served to set the others off again.

“N-now there’s one incentive th-they never used at Academy!” Paavo giggled.

More guffaws.

Aedd bristled, waiting impatiently, tapping one booted foot on the ground.

“Are you done yet?”

The others snuffled into mollified semi-silence as Eicca turned a sympathetic eye on Aedd.

“Look, as much as we would love to save ourselves from a fate worse than breakfast by playing- we have no kit. All our stuff went on ahead. Apart from which- in a forest? Are you crazy?”

“Consider it a challenge- getting back to your roots.”

Eicca sighed and leaned his head back against the trunk.

“Say we could- magically produce instruments out of thin air. What then?” he lifted his head and stared hard at Aedd. “What guarantee do we have that you’ll free us?”

“What guarantee that they’ll say they like it enough to let us go?” Antero chipped in.

“That is a good point, it’s highly subjective. I begin to have doubts about the validity of this ‘contest’.” Paavo mused.

“It is increasingly apparent that it is weighted far too much in uncertainty.” Perttu affirmed.

Aedd stared from one to the other, and then glared at Mikko.

Who shrugged. “I’m just the drummer, dude. “ Aedd sighed with relief and turned back to Eicca again, when from Mikko’s direction; “Buh’ I think the boys have a valid point that should be aired as a conceivable roadblock in any future communications and/ or expectations of the projected undertaking.” He smiled encouragingly at the increasingly frazzled lycanthrope. The rest of the band did likewise.

Aedd was close to pulling his hair out.

“Alright, ok! We’ll... I don’t know- we'll have a frigging clap-o-meter or something!” he pulled himself together, dragging together some semblance of former dignity. “You will play, and you might win the right to stay alive. No more promises than that!” he watched the faces settle into disgruntled looks of disbelief. The band hadn’t been around contract negotiations for some years without picking up a few pointers- most important of which is always to keep the bastard hopping: never look too pleased or satisfied.

 

“Aw, c’mon!” Aedd all but whined. Suddenly his eyes went steely.

“Ion!” the mountainous man-thing lumbered in, followed by a small female; quick-eyed and sharp-faced.

“Ion, what’s for dinner?” asked Aedd pleasantly.

“Care?”

“Oh- sorry!” Aedd grabbed handfuls of Ion’s heavy coat and yanked him downwards by leaning his full weight on the troll-man’s chest. Surprised, Ion dropped to one knee, whereupon Aedd promptly bit him sharply in the neck, sucking on the blood, then spitting it back with a horribly slurping bubbling sound.

 

The band visibly recoiled- as far as their bondage allowed.

Ion, however, seemed to care not a jot. He climbed upwards and stared down at Aedd.

“Yessir?” then blinked as his mouth made sounds he knew not he knew. The band blinked.

“Is Finnish contagious?” the Driver wondered.

“Ion,” Aedd was saying, wiping delicately at his mouth with a cloth provided by the female (who was looking just a little jealous that the lumbering thug got preferential treatment over her), “Ion my dear chap, what is for dinner tonight?”

Ion scratched his massive head thoughtfully. “Goh’ sum deer ‘n’ pigs fr’m th’ farms. Bread ‘n’ salad- hey, boss, we got babby t’matoes!” the living monolith was all but clapping his enormous hands in delight. “S’sweet ‘n’ tasty!”

Aedd quietly rolled his eyes. “Yes, yes, lovely salad, yummy, yummy!”

 

The band eyed each other. This was representative of these so-called werewolves at their worst? These ravening beasts of hell that apparently were planning to kill them? Going ga-ga for greenery?

 

“Ion!” Aedd’s voice was sharp, bringing the big fellow up short. “What’s for pudding, Ion?”

“Ah! Dat’s easy- roasty bits a’uman sweetbread!” Ion glanced at the band and smacked his lips.

The female smirked- no translation was required for the look of horror on the band’s faces.

“I never said all of a human was un-tasty,” Aedd purred.

Eicca, never more glad to have the support of the full-body-binding ropes as now, sagged internally.

Aedd wrapped a lazy arm around the female’s shoulders and muttered something into her ear. Her eyes flashed.

“Well?” Aedd turned back to Eicca.

“You- you have a deal.”

“Excellent. Ion, please.”

 

Eicca winced at the lumbering giant stepped up, and then his eyes widened hugely and he gulped as, along with the rest of the band, he saw, unmistakably, Ion’s hand elongate and sprout fur. Then Ion flicked out his fingers- shortening into dog-like digits- and a row of razor-edged, serrated claws sprang into view. This wasn’t a trick, this wasn’t sleight of hand with a flick-knife, this was real. With enormous grin, Ion- otherwise still approximately human-shaped- leaned down and ran a single claw into the bottom of the ropes, then sliced upwards. In one movement, the ropes cut and fell away, leaving Eicca and Antero staggering, blood suddenly rushing into previously restricted limbs. Antero gave a gurgle and collapsed. Ion made short work of Perttu’s bonds, and he collapsed on top of Antero. The second tree likewise was swiftly released, disgorging its captives onto the forest floor.
Eicca, however, remained upright. He fought the urge to drop; he fought the dizziness and the pain of returned movement and sensation.
He gasped, grimacing, pushing upward against the trunk, forcing himself to stand- to glare eye to eye with Aedd, who watched Eicca’s struggle, and merely nodded slightly; professional respect for another’s bravery.
“Let’s see about getting you some instruments. Daciana!” The woman sprang to attention. “Află nişte hrană şi apă pentru pe ei - şi apoi atunci a aduce afară meu ordine.”
“Cînd voinţă a voi I a fi a da lor limbaj?”
Aedd gave a growl no human chest could produce. Daciana- the female- gave a submissive whine and hurried away.
Aedd turned his attention to the band again. “Don’t go wandering off- there are all sorts of nasty things that go bump in the night around here!” he flashed a grin, then left, leaving Ion behind on guard a little way away from the band, staring at them with glowering eyes.
Probably mad he’s missing the salad course, Eicca thought, and derived some modicum of humour from the thought. With Aedd gone, he allowed himself to slide down the tree trunk.
The others crawled over and they sat in a close circle.
“Real werewolves,” Perttu was muttering. “Really real werewolves!”
“Hey, we’ll get out of this.” Paavo murmured.
“Like how?” Mikko asked, but there was no fire in the question, and it remained a real issue.
“We’ll just have to play the best we ever have done,” Paavo reasoned.
“Just don’t think of the enormous stew pot!” the Driver cracked. Paavo rolled an eye to him, then swatted his shoulder. Perttu actually gave a soft whimper.
“S’ok, Perttu,” Eicca soothed, laying a hand on his friend’s shoulder and squeezing. Perttu swallowed and nodded, setting his chin. Eicca felt a lump in his throat for his friends- not one of them had cracked and dissolved into hysteria. For that, his heart expanded with pride, and he even managed a smile for them. Paavo chaffed at Perttu’s shoulder, and the younger man leaned against him gratefully. Mikko and the Driver sat solid and glowering at nothing in particular. Antero, however, turned slightly to Eicca.
“So… what you said... what you said you saw…”
Eicca nodded. “All true. All real. There’s been… so much violence in Aedd’s life.” He raised his head and gave Antero a lop-sided grin. “Most of it with swords and armour.”
Antero gave a low whistle. “That old?”
“Why not? Werewolves are meant to be near-immortal, aren’t they?”
Antero gave a grunt and doodled in the dirt with a stick. “I’m- I’m sorry, Eicca. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.”
Eicca met his old friend’s gaze steadily. “Forgiven. I still don’t believe it!”
Antero cast a glance back at Ion. “So… a concert for werewolves.” He dropped his stick decisively. “What could possibly go wrong?”
Eicca grinned, shaking his head, as the others gently berated Antero for possibly ‘jinxing’ it- just as if it were a normal concert, on a normal tour, in a normal town.

Eicca glanced back at Ion again. Near-immortal… half-man, half-animal… and as Ion had sliced their bonds… he replayed it in his mind’s eye: that bite of Aedd’s- the bite through which he had apparently transferred a native’s knowledge of Finnish in one go. The bite- which, as Ion leaned down in front of Eicca to snag the underside of the ropes, Eicca saw… healing. Like a film in fast-forward.
Things had suddenly got a lot weirder. Strangely, Eicca did not feel frightened any more. There was simply nothing now that he could relate fear to; they were beyond that and into a realm where all the old rules were gone.
In fact, it was just a little bit… exciting.