Current location:	The Flat, Southampton, UK
Current mood:	accomplished
Current music:	OTSs

Apocalyptica Fanfic: What Could Go Wrong? Part 3

And so now here they were, tied to trees in a wide clearing in a forest far, far from home. Paavo awoke first, and upon a swift headcount (the overhanging Perttu and Mikko caused him some momentary panic when he did not at first see them), was very relieved to find that, even if they were bound and captive, at least they were all here.

He started to nudge the Driver hard, as well as he could, until that man groaned his acquiescence to being alive. Paavo hissed and made short yells towards the other tree, until Eicca’s head arose, and a pair of woozy eyes stared back at Paavo. Antero moaned and rolled his head up from its drooped position, then swore with an “ow!” when the roll connected the back of his head sharply with the truck to which he was bound.

Perttu and Mikko were slower to awake. Hanging upside down had down nothing for them, except make it that much harder to focus. Perttu in particular was having problems calming down- all the blood falling into his head having a somewhat delirious effect.

The band, assuring each other that they weren’t, as yet, dead, tried to gather their scattered thoughts. Unfortunately, Eicca’s natural role as leader and adjudge of situations being somewhat compromised by Perttu’s hanging hair, sending him into mild fits of sneezes, they had not got much further than recalling their adventures to date and having a mild sarcasm match, before their Driver drew their attention to something just a little more important than a bit of emotion-relieving in-bitching.

“Guys- guys! Where are we, exactly?”

“We’re…. oh!” Eicca peered around Perttu’s hair, the others leaning out as far as their excessively bound bodies would allow and following suit with faint sounds of surprise.

 

Before them opened a large clearing- it wouldn’t be too far to go to call it ‘vast’. It was in the forest- hence the trees clustered at this side, but it was dry, as if no storm dared to sully its shelter. On the further side a large cave mouth opened in a larger wall of darkness, which had to be a wall of rock. Had they been brought closer in to the foothills? Indeed, was it even the same night?

The trees to which they were bound were great broad-trunked things with heavy boughs lacing overhead in a roof of dense wood and leaf. Eicca recognised oak laves scattered on a thick carpet on the ground, along with a liberal amount of pine needles and similar evergreen foliage. The exact details of the trees escaped him for the time being, although to be fair he did have rather more urgent matters on his mind. And most of those matters were walking about the clearing in front of them, their faces and bodies cast now in livid light, then into shade by the leaping flames from the open camp fires and old oil drums around which the people lurked, rubbing hands over the flames, speaking in rumbling tones. There were occasional barks of laughter and a smell of rich, heavy beer in the air. Antero’s nose wrinkled slightly as he detected an undercurrent of musk- something strong and animal-like. Paavo’s eye opened wider as Perttu, coming to a gentle stop in his rotations, tried to make sense of the view from upside down.

The figures looked strong and stocky and well bundled up in rough, workmanlike clothes; leather and heavy jeans, plaid shirts and thick, well-worn boots. Salt-of-the-earth types…

“Hey, Eicca! Farmers! You can speak countryside- tell them to let us down, yeah?”

Eicca did not even deign to comment, although Paavo’s skittish expression softened into a small smile. Mikko chuckled to himself.

 

All sound, however, ceased as a large and particularly looming fellow came striding over nonchalantly, his face was broad, brutish and distinctly Neanderthal in appearance, with a heavy fall of dark hair. His hands were thick sausages of knotted sinew and muscle. Mikko’s chuckle died, and a nervous silence fell on the group. Eicca, feeling he couldn’t let this man intimidate his friends without some sort of fight, stood as tall as his bonds allowed, and raised his chin definitely. Seeing this, the giant gave a low, boozy-breathed giggle, and, tucking a finger under Eicca’s chin, raised it further, turning it this way and that as if admiring a prime specimen.

“Hallo drăguţ bărbat!”

Eicca’s eyes narrowed, then widened.

“Ei-cca?” Antero tried, cautiously, as if sudden noise might make the giant go ape and start ripping heads off (he looked as if he could do it with one hand).

“I don’t know what he just said, but I’m certain it wasn’t right,” Eicca replied through semi-gritted teeth, his head still pulled upwards making speech tricky.

“Probably best we don’t know,” Paavo suggested, and then called out, bravado making his reckless. “Hey! Monkey man! Come talk to me if you want trouble!”

The giant glanced between the two, then started laughing, waving an admonitory finger between the two.

“Al tău prieten intim is zgomotos! Joc tare la spre a lua?”

This time the smile was leerier, and he leaned into Eicca, who made an “uurrgh!” noise and yanked his head away. The giant drooled slightly and a flick of spittle slapped onto Eicca’s cheek.

That was the final straw!

Antero yelled, his face suffusing with fury. Paavo gave a shout of defiance, and the two hanging musicians wriggled and thrashed like fish on hooks.

The giant’s brow lowered, and his face darkened at the collective spirit being displayed. Now other people- were drifting over to see what the commotion was about. Most of them were tall and heavy-set although there were also smaller, neater types who nipped in between the bigger ones; the whole gathering appeared composed of these two physical types. Both men and woman wore their hair long, and there was a lot more bodily hair on display on arms, backs of hands and around necks and jaw lines- even on the larger females.  They came to stand, in a growing, curious gathering, just at the edge of the circle of light created by the fires, staring as a crowd will stare at spontaneous entertainment, some of them egging on the giant with shouts and laughs.

A bark of a yell made them all turn, and made the giant jump. He actually looked intimidated for a moment, a flash of something other than mindless sadism crossed his face, before he pulled back sharply, standing almost to attention.

The band collectively gulped. What new threat could make even this great monster nervous?

The crowd parted, and a petite, dark-haired man with clear, blazing eyes stepped forward. His frame was small, but carried a wiry strength, and his face shone with a keen, wolfish intelligence. Something flickered in his eyes as he clapped eyes on the band and Driver, strapped up and around as they were.

Without actually turning to address the giant, he braked again in their language.

“Ion! A mişca! Tu shut sus! De ce eşti tu aici?”

With the obvious submission of the others, Eicca realised this must be the leader- one of their strange number cut from the mould of the small and sneaky. Hopefully one with whom they could at least negotiate.

At the same time, that keen expression, those bright, bright eyes suggested just a hint of madness… a darkness Eicca wasn’t sure he could safely handle. A groan above and to his left reminded him that not all the band were bound in the normal upright, and when Perttu’s voice whispered

“My head… it’s dizzy, Eicca.”

Eicca realised that Perttu and Mikko were in real danger of passing out or worse, hanging as they were, like joints left to tenderise.

That thought was not a happy one, so Eicca made pointed eye contact with the new arrival, and swallowing his own rising fear, spoke clearly, with only a slight wobble.

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand you!”

 

The leader squinted at Eicca a moment, then suddenly leapt forward and grabbing the back of Eicca’s head in both hands, touched their foreheads together gently. Eicca didn’t even have time to cry out.

The band, however, were making a terrible din. When it became apparent that all the man was doing was resting his forehead to Eicca’s, they simmered down.

The leader’s long dark hair frisked around Eicca’s blonde locks, and time held its breath for a space…

 

The man suddenly released Eicca’s head and stepped away, grinning broadly.

In faultless Finnish, he spoke, throwing his arms wide open.

“Welcome, honoured guests!”

Antero glowered. “Do you treat all guests this way, or just the special ones?”

The smaller man pouted slightly. “Oh, don’t, you’re breaking my heart!”

“What about breaking our backs?” Paavo demanded

“Or… our… necks,” Mikko’s voice emerged slurred from under his hang of hair.

 

“Oh- a thousand pardons!” the man laid his palms together and bowed, then, grinning, made a gesture. Four others hurried in and stood, waiting. The talkative one opened one hand and made a flicking gesture. The nail on his middle finger suddenly sprouted long, curved and claw-like. With it he neatly nicked through two ropes stretched taught beside the tree, and Perttu and Mikko were deftly caught by the waiting arms below them. They were stood up and supported a moment, before being enthusiastically bound, one each, to the two trees already decorated with the other musicians.

“My name is Aedd. I will be your host during your stay here. Please, do hesitate to call on me if there is anything that can be done for your greater comfort! I return soon- Ion! With me!”

With that, he sashayed away, the giant in tow, casting suspicious glances from under his low, low brow. The crowd slowly dispersed, casting amused and… hungry looks back towards the six men strapped to the trees.

 

As soon as they appeared unobserved, the band exploded with questions and chatter, Mikko and Perttu joining in with grunts and nods to begin with.

“Did he start speaking perfect Finnish?”

“What was with that claw?”

“It’s a trick- just a flick-knife well hidden.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Who are these freaks? East European rednecks or what?”

“Bluh-ards.”

“How do we get out of this?”

“I have a bad feeling…”

“Since when did we drop into the middle of Apocalypse Now?”

“It’s not a film.”

 

“What?” Antero craned his head around to Eicca, only now realising he hadn’t joined in the discussion at all. And then he- and the others, following suit and turning their attention to their silent comrade- saw how pale and wide-eyed Eicca was.

“Eicca?” Paavo asked, cautiously, “What is going on?”

“I-I saw inside his mind! Inside his mind!” Eicca’s expression was heading into worryingly manic, and it was the Driver who intervened.

“Oy! Concentrate! Here! Focus! With us, Eicca! Now, tell us- what is it?”

Eicca took a deep breath and tried again, shaking his head in disbelief.

“When he- touched my head- he saw into me, and learned our language that way, and I- I saw into him- his mind.”

“Cool,” Perttu offered, a little nervously.

Eicca raised his head, giving them all a stare both terrible and frankly incredulous.

“No, not cool at all- they are going to kill us- kill us and eat us!”